Hermann opens an eye. The sex was lovely, but he had been enjoying the afterglow. “Not what one wants to hear after intercourse.”
“Oh, shut up.” Newt groans, and holds up the condom.
It’s notably empty. Hermann shifts, and no, the slickness is not all lubricant. “Ah.”
“My tests should be back from the lab in two days.” Newt groans and throws the ruined condom in the bin, slumping back next to Hermann. “I don’t think I’ve got anything, it that counts for much.”
“I would rather not be working on Breach equations with Chlamydia.”
“I’m pretty sure I don’t have that.” Newt grumbled. “Can’t promise no herpes though.”
Hermann sighs, and rubs his face, “Wonderful.”
“What about you? Do I need to check my dick isn’t gonna turn black and drop off anytime soon?”
“Of course not.” Hermann snaps.
“Well what? When are you getting your tests back anyway?”
Hermann doesn’t answer. Newt stares. “What? Have you at least sent them off?”
No answer. “Dude!” Newt gapes. “That is way not safe! We need to get you tested tomorrow, okay?”
“Oh, how much time do you think I’ve had on romantic liaisons?” Hermann snarls suddenly.
“Well, not much now, but seriously, some things can be dormant for ages, it’s only safe-” Newt trails off, watches Hermann go redder and redder. “No. Really?”
“I did not need this.” Hermann sits up, and starts sliding his legs off the side of the bed.
“Wait- no- sorry.” Newt pushes him back down. “Okay, that came out way wrong-”
“You’re just- way sexy dude, I just thought- never mind.”
Hermann sighs, then slumps back on the bed. “However badly expressed that was- thank you. But you are not in the majority.”
“I should be.” Newt pouts.
Hermann smiles wearily. “Thank you for possibly giving me my first STD,” he says dryly. “Do tell me when you know the results.”